Next week, my husband and I will celebrate our 34th wedding anniversary. I have been blessed beyond measure by having Doug as my husband. He loves me so well! There are lots of ways he shows his love. Sometimes it’s the smallest ways that mean the most. Take the case of a long-handled scrub brush to wash dishes. That might not seem like a good way to show one’s love for his wife, but in my world, it is.
We had been visiting our son’s family in California. They had a long-handled brush for their dishes. After using it a few times, I said to Doug, “I think this brush is easier for me to use than a dishcloth. My hands don’t hurt after doing the dishes with it.” I didn’t say anymore about it. But a few weeks later, upon arriving home from another trip, I found a long-handled brush in my little dishwashing tool bucket. What I saw when I found the brush was that he heard me, and he cared enough to take the time to find one and buy it for me before I got home. (There were beautiful flowers, too. He’s still a romantic.)
Something so small speaks volumes. Since symptoms of my illness have grown, making my hands weak and painful, Doug has taken on many responsibilities that were once mine. I didn’t have to ask him to take on these things, he just saw that I was having trouble and stepped in. That’s love.
It’s great to have a husband who sees a need in my life and does what he can to meet it. Sometimes he can’t do anything but be there with me. He does that. No matter how long his day has been, he takes time every night to rub my feet and legs so that I can sleep better. Most importantly, he prays for me every morning before leaving for work and checks how I’m doing every evening when he gets home. I think that’s how he assesses what he’ll need to handle each night. These last three years of dealing with my illness have been hard on him. Because he loves me, he hates seeing me in pain. But I am so thankful he has been by my side.
We started out our marriage much the same way. I was in a serious car accident two days before our wedding. The day we were married, I was in pain. There was a moment in our wedding ceremony where we had to kneel. When the time came, I looked at Doug and said, “I may need help.” He took my arm, and, with eyes full of love, gave the firm support I needed. He’s been doing that ever since.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7 ESV)