persevere – Lisa J Radcliff ~ Finding Freedom from the Past

Does your life ever feel monochrome? Gray? Boring, lacking color or vibrancy? That’s what I thought about as I looked out at the scene before me. Gray rocks, gray water, gray sky. The mountain, too, would be gray, if it wasn’t socked in behind the gray fog. A darker gray line delineated the horizon. There is beauty in it if you’re willing to see past the bleakness.

As I sat there looking into the gray water and sky, I thought how this is the way I sometimes see my life. Chronic pain is its monochrome feature. Always there, some days with the heaviness of darker, stormier gray, other times just a little misty gray fog.

Glancing to my left, the late July huckleberry bushes were covered in green huckleberries. More monochrome, only green, making it difficult to distinguish the berries from the leaves. But then I noticed a few of the huckleberries had started to ripen. A lot were green, but some were pink, some were a deep wine, and others were already purple. It won’t be long until they will bring joy to a little girl I know who loves to pick them.

The changing berries gave me renewed hope. Life is not monochrome forever. Even today, I can tell the sun is trying to burn off the fog and gray clouds. A brightness comes and goes bringing hope for a more colorful day ahead. Sometimes it just takes a little time.

My monochrome of chronic pain will have its season. But there will be colorful times interspersed, even during days when the pain is great. There are friendships that bring hot-pink laughter. There are soothing violet pleasures in reading a good book. There are happy, bright yellow squeals from grandchildren. There is the deep blue calm of prayer. The monochrome that tries to take over gets pushed back just a little.

And when the gray lingers, it is a reminder to lean on the one who created the full spectrum of color. He has chosen which colors to use in just the right amount to create his masterpiece. He knows when to blend in other colors and when to just leave the gray. One day, when we look back at the design he has chosen for each of us, we will be amazed at the beauty the grays brought to our lives.

Embrace your monochrome days. They have beauty and purpose and will make the colors around them even more glorious. And just maybe with a little time, they will give way to unexpected vibrant-colored joys.

For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:17 ESV

I received a crown this week. Not because I’m queen of my family (which I am). Not because I won a Mrs. Older America pageant (quilting would be my talent, so maybe I could win). And not because some dignitary of a never-before-heard-of little country arrived at my door, declaring that I am the long-lost royal heir and need to come with him to accept the crown and save my homeland from a unscrupulous neighboring kingdom that wants to turn it into an Amazon distribution center. Nope, none of the above.

The crown I received is on my tooth. After two harrowing experiences in the dental chair to prepare for this crown, this was the week the permanent crown would be fit over my tooth. There was very little pomp associated with this crowning. I expected more. It did coincide with my six-month cleaning, so the other teeth were freshly polished, looking their best. But there was a problem. It didn’t fit right.

Is this like a dress fitting? Do I need to come back two or three times while they take it in here and there to get the fit perfect? Nope. The dentist shaved it down (or whatever he was doing out of my sight). But it still didn’t fit. Then he shaved a little of the lower tooth, which was in my mouth and not anesthetized. It fit better. I left the office.

Now a few days later, it still doesn’t fit right. It feels like there is something in my mouth that doesn’t belong there. My husband says I’ll get used to it. I don’t know. It feels like I’m chewing eggshells, and I hate when even the tiniest bit of eggshell finds its way into my chewing. Maybe it will help me eat less, a silver lining.

Yesterday I read this verse, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12 ESV). I am a baby when it comes to dental work. But one good thing, it boosts my spiritual life. My prayer life and recalling memorized Bible verses occupy every minute I’m in the chair. To me, dental work is a trial. But the crown I received for making it through doesn’t even fit right.

Of course, the kind of trial James is referring to is probably not dental work. There have been and will be more serious trials to endure. And the result of persevering under trials has more benefits besides a crown. James also says that we should count it all joy when we meet trials because trials test our faith which produces perseverance.

The kind of trials that test our faith are very difficult, but the outcome of perseverance and a deeper faith is worth the struggle. And, of course, there’s that crown, which I’m sure will be spectacular…and fit perfectly.