Tag: bible

Lessons from a Fire – Lesson 1: Safety First!

A fire tore through a local bank building just over a year ago. The lobby was destroyed. Remnants of black smoke clung to the stone facade above the boarded-up doors and windows. Clearly, there was structural damage to the drive-thru, and large pieces of fascia curled away from the building like peeling paint. Over the next few weeks, a salvage company demolished the rest of the building and leveled the ground around it. The burned-out business put up signs saying they were rebuilding. Several months passed with no evidence of rebuilding. But then a construction company’s billboard-sized sign appeared, announcing the rebuilding project was underway.

This time, evidence of rebuilding appeared. Heavy equipment was parked on the property. Dirt was pushed around. But what stood out to me was that barricades were set up. One of the first steps in rebuilding was making the project safe. A big part of that safety plan was to keep out those who might cause more harm.

As an abuse survivor, those barricades were a visual reminder of the need to set up boundaries while in the process of rebuilding what was lost. Many survivors have false guilt when they create space between themselves and those who might cause them harm. They know that some of those people don’t mean to cause harm, but their words or attitudes do just that. So, to rebuild their emotional health, they may need to erect some barricades and keep certain people out of their lives, at least for a time.

The barricades on the bank building remained until the construction was just about completed. They were in place until all the structural work was done, and just the finish work on the inside was left. But it occurred to me that the inside still has a barricade in the form of a vault. Very few people who enter the bank will be allowed access to the vault. It’s not for everyone, just those with the right clearances. Survivors should make note of that too. There will always be parts of their life or story that are not for everyone, just the most trusted people in their lives. And that’s okay. It’s not just okay, it’s necessary.

Most abusers are people who were trusted. Being harmed by someone you trusted is as damaging to a person as that fire was to the bank. Like the rebuilding of the bank, survivors need to do the work of removing the damaged areas and preparing their hearts to rebuild trust. Rebuilding trust takes time.

Start with the barricades. They allow you to rebuild from a place of safety. The first steps might be with a counselor, pastor, or trusted friend. It might be in a support group. It needs to be with people who won’t do more harm. Over time, you will rebuild trust and be able to take down some of the barricades because you’ll feel safe without them. In the process of rebuilding, you’ll become more resilient. Even if someone harmful shows up in your life, it doesn’t mean that what you’ve rebuilt will come crashing down. You will have learned that other people don’t control you or your emotions—a big step in the rebuilding process.

Eventually, you’ll feel that the barricades can come down, except that vault. The keys to that are only for certain individuals and God himself. He is the one who can be fully trusted with your heart and life. We will never fully understand the depth of his love and care for us. He promises he will fight for us, he will restore us, and he will bring us safely home. Even when we don’t feel safe or wonder if all that was lost to abuse can be restored, God will fulfill his promises, and we can rest safely in that.

After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Peter 5:10 ESV.

That Other Christmas Trip

As I’m putting away the Christmas decorations, I’m thinking about the way the first Christmas ended. Not with storing the stockings and jingle bells for next year, but with a trip to the temple in Jerusalem.

I hadn’t really thought about the fact that Mary, Joseph, and Jesus took a trip to Jerusalem about seven days after his birth, but it’s recorded in Luke 2:22, 24:

“And when the time came for their purification according to the Law of Moses, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord and to offer a sacrifice according to what is said in the Law of the Lord, ‘a pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.’”

We hear about Mary and Joseph’s trek to Bethlehem and lament with Mary about walking or riding on a donkey over hill and dale while carrying a full-term baby. But their next trip could not have been much easier. In fact, I would prefer to travel while pregnant over traveling with a newborn, even the short distance from Bethlehem to Jerusalem.

Traveling while pregnant is uncomfortable, but traveling with a newborn is a whole different ballgame. You don’t just grab your purse, phone, and keys and jump in the car. You pack a diaper bag, throw in the stroller and port-a-crib, make sure the car seat is appropriately secured, and don’t forget the extra clothes and clean-up supplies for when the baby spits up all over you. Ugh.

Okay, maybe Mary and Joseph didn’t pack a lot of extras, but they did make a trip to Jerusalem with a newborn. I think she took that trip with Jesus clutched to her chest, if she was as nervous as I was bringing my first baby home from the hospital. How many times did she tell Joseph to be careful or to slow down guiding the donkey?

 As I took a closer look at that trip, the reason for it struck me: it was for their purification. The birth of Jesus made Mary unclean. His conception was miraculous, but his birth was typical, albeit in a stable and announced by angels. A typical birth included bleeding. Bleeding required purification. The Law of Moses in Leviticus 12 says that “if a woman conceives and bears a male child, she shall be unclean for seven days.” Verse 4 is what really made me think. “Then she shall continue for thirty-three days in the blood of her purifying. She shall not touch anything holy, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying are completed.”

I pictured Mary, unable to enter the sanctuary or touch anything holy, holding Jesus—the holiest of holies. How ironic! She was there to offer sacrifices (two turtledoves) for her purification. For the following thirty-three days, Mary wasn’t to touch anything holy. During that time, she would have held baby Jesus, nursed him, changed him, bathed him, burped him, patted him, and rocked him to sleep (or bounced him on her knees to sleep, if he was anything like my babies). She was a mom with an extraordinary yet typical baby who needed her touch in many ways.

She lovingly handled that holy baby, as the days of her purifying were completed and beyond. How many times did she pick him up to comfort him or cuddle him? She was kept away from the sanctuary, but not from the one who made it holy.

One day, her baby would shed his own blood, the holiness of which would fully cleanse her from her sin. There would be no more need for sacrifices of turtledoves or days of purification or trips to faraway places dragging along all the newborn gear. His blood would take away the sin of the world. They named him Jesus, for he would save his people from their sins.